Get Pissy Laker Fans…GET PISSY

The inevitable has happened.

LeBron James has finally won his first NBA Championship. Which means Los Angeles Laker fans are upset. Huh?

I never understood the hatred Laker fans have toward LeBron and the Heat. I’ve asked and received “interesting” answers.

“I hate the Heat because they’re trying to buy a championship.”

Pot meet kettle. So signing players like Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Shaquile O’neal, Pau Gasol, Ron Artest Metta World Peace, Karl Malone, Gary Payton, and Sarah Palin’s favorite athlete, Glen Rice – isn’t doing the same thing?

Oh, and let’s not forget the Lakers tried to get Chris Paul. As a Clipper fan, I’m happy David Stern cock blocked the Purple and Gold.

One could even make the argument the Lakers were trying to “buy a championship” when they drafted James Worthy first overall in 1982. A season after winning the title.

During the 1979-80 NBA season the Los Angeles Lakers sent Don Ford and a 1980 first-round pick (Chad Kinch) to the Cleveland Cavaliers for Butch Lee and the Cavs’ first-round pick in 1982. The pick turned out to be the No. 1 overall, so the Lakers drafted Big Game James.

And for the record, because of the salary cap, there’s no such thing as “buying a championship” in the NBA. The Thunder are paying Kevin Durant $86 million over five years and Russell Westbrook $80 million over five as well. So are they trying to “buy a championship” too?

Did the Boston Celtics buy their title when they traded for Ray Allen and Mr. Darkness himself, Kevin Garnett?

Even if buying a title was possible (which it isn’t) I guess it’s OK if the Lakers do it. Umm no! Not in the real world Laker fans. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

“I hate LeBron James because of the “decision.”

I agree the decision was stupid. But if anyone has a right to be upset, it’s Cavalier fans. They lost their star player. I understand their hatred. But how did the way LeBron departed from Cleveland affect the Lakers? When Laker fans were screaming up and down about how much of a dick move it was, I found it interesting they never mentioned the decision generated more than $3 million for the Boys & Girls Club.

Laker fans don’t want to hear that though. But what would you expect from these people? They’re spoiled brats. Bandwagon fans who truly believe they are entitled to win championships by any means necessary. Their team can do no wrong and when other organizations try to put dynasties together, Laker fans get more aggravated than a monkey throwing it’s own feces.

“I hate LeBron James because he predicted to win multiple championships.”

When LeBron predicted the Heat would win multiple championships, yes it was arrogant. But if I’m a fan of the Heat, I want that. I want my star player to be determined. That doesn’t make someone a bad person.

The reality is, Los Angeles Laker fans are jealous and insecure about the Heat and LeBron James. They know the spotlight is no longer on their team. Ergo (I love using that word) they look for reasons to be a hater. Dave Chappelle told me he saw some of them at the Player Haters Ball.

Unless a major trade happens, the Lakers are done. Sooner or later Kobe Bryant will be a shell of his former self, and LeBron James will be the man. Laker fans know this but they don’t want to accept it. The funny thing is, if LeBron was a Laker they would be sucking his balls.

Congratulations Miami. You didn’t buy anything. You earned it.

I never understood interventions. What’s the point of being told you drink too much from a room full of reasons why you drink in the first place?

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Posted: June 21, 2012 at 10:17 pm | by Ryan
Filed under: Pop Culture, Sports