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What's so Great about Shakespeare?!

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  • What's so Great about Shakespeare?!

    I've written a series of cantos based on William Shakespeare's sonnets.
    I believe my cantos are better.
    Perhaps you too can do better than Shakespeare. Why not?

    Canto 1
    by Wolf Larsen

    From testicles & beautiful creatures we desire a big anus!
    That torpedoes beauty into a mighty strawberry!
    But the Grand Ripper rips time in half,
    And he shall tender space-age testicles to the memory of the holy phalluses of hallelujah!
    But blueberry! Constipated tornado hyenas floating on endless eyes,
    Screaming flames & happy fools!
    Making famines where the abundance of a few is enriched by the poverty of many,
    So tie up & sex your foe! Penis delivery systems flying all over the planet!
    Art so fresh it's a civil war!
    And now hurry up to the telEphOne-spRing-WeStern-HemisPhere-gOng!
    Within zipeeeees own bud-smoking-miracles!
    And – tender whip-lashes – make loving poetry all over my skin!
    Pity adjectives so delirious they can't find a noun to play with! So let this insane-sanity be!
    Now eat all the world's doo-doo, by the grave of Superman.
    Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

    Sonnet I
    by William Shakespeare

    From fairest creatures we desire increase,
    That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
    But as the riper should by time decease,
    His tender heir might bear his memory:
    But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, 5
    Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel,
    Making a famine where abundance lies,
    Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
    Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament
    And only herald to the gaudy spring, 10
    Within thine own bud buriest thy content
    And, tender churl, makest waste in *****rding.
    Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
    To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee. 14

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