"smokin 45"

[TheBear]

the trigger was so cold
the alley was dark and old
u stand in front of him
rage inside begins to swim
hate and violence
this will make it all silence
end him now
take the vow
rid ur self of his presence
make it all more pleasant
maybe after him will be u
bring the population down by 2
standing in ur black suit
step back and get ready to shoot
u think do i really wanna do this
y r u mad over this dum ass nonsense
bang, the sound of the bullet loudly sang
the sting hits u and you think, NO, this cant be the way i die
u look up and and peer down the barell of a smokin 45

[TheBear]

some one give me some creative criticism or somthin, shit

[kyza soza]

this was pretty coo man, keep it up

[Sm0ke]

shut up kyza

nice piece

[kyza soza]

huh, dont make me hit you with a stick!

[BleedingAkasha]

remember, poetry is all about imagery. As my creative writing teacher said, "show me, don't tell me."

[GOD_DV8]

As my creative writing teacher said, "show me, don't tell me."

then your teacher is a fruitcake, you gotta tell the person to be able to show them.........


its a nice lil poem, flex more on the description and imagery thats key to poetry........

[BleedingAkasha]

then your teacher is a fruitcake, you gotta tell the person to be able to show them.........


its a nice lil poem, flex more on the description and imagery thats key to poetry........

honey, you're the fruitcake. "flex more on the description and imagery thats key to poetry"..thats just elaborating on what i just said.

[Cakes]

hahahahaha what a dumbass haha, u got shammed now hang ur head and walk away ***

[GOD_DV8]

honey, you're the fruitcake. "flex more on the description and imagery thats key to poetry"..thats just elaborating on what i just said.

oh well done, but then that still makes the teacher a fruitcake, if your teacher thinks you dont "tell someone" to show them... "honey"


and cakes, please dont ever reply to any of my posts, you make yourself look stupid....

bitch

[Cakes]

how does makin u look stupid make me look stupid. fuck ur stupid

[johnny trance]

guys...clean it up man. no need for this in here.

[GOD_DV8]

how does makin u look stupid make me look stupid. fuck ur stupid

do you know something, youre a regular einstein, youre sooooo smart i wanna be just like you, i cant believe how much you sonned me, damn, i feel stupid.........


i think you need to take a step back son, and actually read whats goin on instead of tryna act smart, act like you can actualy write
now stop pushing those keys and go away.....


you suck

[TheBear]

talk shit somwhere else.......not in my thread

[johnny trance]

guys...this is the last time. leave this forum to poetry. don't turn it into battle grounds. use the other forums for that and let poetry and feedback stay here.